My World ~ Cancer and stuff

When I first saw these words posted on a website, I felt relief that some out there felt like I do. The original picture was sort of blurry so I just made another one. I wish I could print these out and give them to everyone I know and give them to people that are having trouble after cancer treatment. It doesn't just go away. It's hard enough trying to get back to a normal place after all that was done to you, but you have to go through the scare of it coming back and all of the checkups over the next two years until they trickle down if your lucky. 

I went through my own personal hell, as did many people.  I had a slew of doctors, nurses, rt's and other random cancer specialists around me. That was a special thing. I loved the people I met; we had something in common. I could cry and they got it and I could freakout until my happy juice was put into my iv before the chemo started. They understood everything. They welcomed me and took me in and told me it was all going to be okay and I'm still friends with some of them today. I love these people and I hate what they all have to go through. Every time I have to go down there for something I like to bring goodies bags. I brought Halloween when I got my port flushed and bloodwork and I'm taking Christmas bags FULL of goodies! It makes me happy to this to make someone smile. I had it done to me and it filled me with happiness.

I got my chemo at my gyn oncology center because it was a small group of people and it was more intimate. There are only 13 chairs so I always pack 13 goodie bags. I actually had my radiation done across the street at our hospital in the cancer center. I had the regular outer radiation that was like 25 to 29 days (I forget) and the 5 brachytherapy surgeries that just about killed me in and of itself. I had to fight like hell to make it through these. They were internal radiation treatments and you have to get put to sleep and have this thing inserted and attached to a sleeve that was put into me surgically not long before those particular treatments started. Between the chemo wreaking havoc with my internals down there, I had to deal with the pain of catheters for all of these surgeries. My bladder is still trying to come back from all of it and I won't mention the problems I have to watch for with my colon. I'm scared every single day about things that might happen. I'm supposed to stay positive but it's hard. I cry most days as I still have my mental issues to deal with as well. I have so many battles and sometimes I would to give up and I deal with that as only I can do. 

Today I have been so very depressed. I have cried and cried. I was helping dad take down some of my bedroom stuff and carrying it upstairs the best I could. We got me a new bed coming that you can lift the head and foot area to help with pain and a tempur pedic mattress. My arthritis is worse after all of this as well. I cried because dad said he was getting too old for lifting and carrying things and I can barely do anything and I miss soooooooooooo very much miss when we were all younger. That this life wasn't my reality right now.  I miss being young, I miss life with my mamaw on the farm. I miss so many things. I want all of my family back and everyone healthy and happy. But this is life right.... 

I didn't want to get on here today but I had to put some reviews on my blog and stupid stuff. I don't even want to do things any more. I told myself I wasn't going to do things that don't make me happy because life is even shorter when something is had tried to kill you and still might at that. Then here I come back onto goodreads having feeling like I have to write a little review and then come over here to google on my blog so it won't get deleted. People don't hardly look at my blog so what is the point. After of these years I should have had over 500,000 views but I'm just not good enough I guess. I had a lot of people looking at my stuff before cancer. But since I'm not writing big drawn out reviews, they don't care I guess. I think everyone should be looked at even if they just give star reviews. In this world of books I just want to be happy with people reading books. On google, I want to get with my friends on beautiful pictures they post and try to start posting some again as well. I want to read their messages and poems and just freaking things. But I also don't want to come on the computer for days on end. GOD, I remember back when I wrote that thing a woman had written for her family to share after she died of cancer in her 20's. She basically said it's all bullshit. Spend time doing what you want or what you can in my case since I'm still homebound. Don't waste time on shit or shit people. I have done both. And I have put myself into debt trying to find some happiness by buying too many damn things since cancer treatment. I feel ashamed! I hope to make it better. I hope to make a lot of things better. That's all I have, hope... but I spent more money today. All I want to do is get healthy, spend quality time with my dog and family, buy little gifts for others as it makes me so happy when they send me a text of happiness. 

I don't even know if this is making any sense. I just wanted to get a few words out. I will write more later. There are all kinds of things I need to say about my fears and in depth thoughts about my cancer journey. And dad just came down, he always seems to do that when I'm crying. He came down to check on me and Lucy as we still sleep in the living room right now on a mattress. I need to be close to things still. We hope to be back down here in the room in January. I will keep you all informed of my visits and stuff. 

I'm going to add a few pictures. I'm not going to add many, if any of myself as I hate how much I have gone downhill after all of my medical issues. Thank you all for listening. FYI: I just noticed I put most of the pictures before telling you want they were, that description is down below the picture. Sigh... I think y'all will get it though.

Mel 

 (Above) This is a picture of Courtney. He was our valet and he was very special. Dad gave him $40 for being so kind and actually helping me to get from the wheelchair into the car on the days I had surgery. I miss him as he moved to another part of Tennessee to follow his dreams. Good luck, Courtney. He had beautiful braids but had them tied up. 

Above, dad carrying some of my stuff in for radiation. 

A couple of my lovely techs getting me ready for radiation. Notice my dog pillows laying there for my head. I brought them along. I was going to take pictures of the steel room where I had the internal radiation but just couldn't.

My wonderful tech, Pam whom always loved my funny shirts and held me when I cried. She also gave me a plant with a dog pot that I'm going to show next. I need to call her. 

Above is a random picture of my port. 

One of my favorite people, my oncology radiation nurse. I still call her to this day with any concerns over anyone else. I had just come out of surgery and rang the bell and it was the last day of treatment. Bell is on the left side of the picture. 

 A chemo friend. 

Another chemo friend. 

My chemo thing I had to drag around for 6 hours. I named him Herman. 

Some of my chemo nurses and my gyn oncologists wife on the left. She would bring her dog in to see the patients. He's a beautiful Aussie/Poodle mix and I want one as I had both of those dogs in pure breed. Oliver is in the picture below!

A couple of my favorite chemo nurses. 

Me and mom went to the zoo the last day of my external radiation. I had no energy so she had to wheel me around. I felt stupid. Little did I know the hell I was in for with the last 5 internal treatments. 



And my sweet Lucy who is with me through it all. ♥

 

And in closing, a random picture or the moon one morning on our way to radiation. I had a wonderful one on some of the night time mornings on our way to surgery but I don't think I took the picture. 

There are actually several more pictures but I don't want to share everything, just a few. 

I'm sad that I haven't gotten to do some of the things I put on my after cancer treatment list. One will have to wait until summer again because I waited too long and it's too cold and it involves feet and water. 

The other was to go trick or treating but it was too hot here that day and I couldn't so we ordered a Halloween cookie form the Great American Cookie Company. I should have put that picture on here but I'm tired. 

I have another thing on my list that I hope to do in December. I will let you know. 

Thank you for listening, reading and trying to understand what I have said. I'm too tired to proof read it right now. 

***Cervical Cancer Awareness***

Mel xo

ICB, Sequin Sparkle and Change Bible, HC, Pink

The pink Sequin Sparkle and Change Bible is sure to be a hit with girls! This fabulous material is on everything from pillows to t-shirts. The "mermaid" sequins change color right before your eyes. Girls will love the design and will want to carry the Sequin Sparkle and Change Bible everywhere!
This Sequin Sparkle and Change Bible features a cover with pink sequins that change color depending on which way your child swipes. It's double the fun! It's perfect for kids ages 6 to 10 to take to Sunday school, read with the family, or study on their own.
The ICB, the first Bible translation created specifically for children, is easy for children to read and understand with a third-grade reading level and is typeset in a large, readable font.  The Bible text is set in ten-point type, with bold in-text subject heads that help kids easily find the passages they are looking for. Also included are boldface words that correspond with a dictionary and concordance entry to explain word definitions. A great new feature in this updated setting is more than 300 key verses that are highlighted throughout the Bible for kids to read and learn. The beautifully illustrated insert pages are in a style that children love and will delight their imaginations, including topics such as:

• A Bible timeline
• A presentation page
• A place to keep favorite Bible verses
• Bible maps
• Articles on topics such as how Jesus loves them, knowing Jesus better, and how to pray, etc.

Your little girl will love her Sequin Sparkle and Change Bible!

*I received a copy of this book through BookLookBloggers.*

First, I have to say I never knew this sparkle stuff was a phenomenon! I know I'm homebound but it seems I live under a rock!

This is a beautiful Bible and easy to read; the font seems larger to me. There are wonderful colored pages inside that I loved so much!

The only reason I took one star off is the words of Jesus are not in red or pink in this case. I know when I was a child I loved the red lines where Jesus spoke and asked my grandmother to read those pages.

Overall, I think it's wonderful and I know little girls will love it! I'm going to add some pictures at the end!

Happy Reading!

Mel 💕

There are a few more pictures in the Bible, but I think you get the idea =)

Medusa, A Love Story by Sasha Summers

Medusa is ruled by duty, to her Titan father and the Goddess Athena. She's no room for the tenderness her warrior guard, Ariston, stirs. When Olympus frees her from service, her heart leads her into the arms of the guard she loves... and curses her as the creature with serpent locks.

Ariston goes to war with a full heart... and dreadful foreboding. He learns too late of the danger Medusa faces, alone, and a Persian blade sends him into the Underworld. But death, curses, nor the wrath of the Gods will keep him from returning to her.

Poseidon will use Greece's war to get what he wants: Medusa. He does not care that she belongs to another. He does not care that she will be damned. He is a God, an Olympian, and she will be his.

 

He drew in a harsh breath before he whispered, "The love I have for you gives me breath and strength. You will always hold my heart. Let it give you the strength to do what must be done. For you will be my lady, forever."

I read this book for a challenge in one of my book groups and I'm glad I did as I loved it! I felt so bad for Medusa and Ariston, but this retelling was very satisfying against all the odds

"Wisdom will rule this day on, your constant lullaby their serpents song. Only those with an innocent heart, women and children, are set safely apart. A heart of stone is your curse to bear as they turn man to stone with their ruby stare. Keep them safe and keep them whole, or to Hades you will send their soul. Your disloyalty causes man's life to end, but through your death, they live again."

But some stories will still find their happy ending ....






Happy Reading!

Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾

Stranger Things ~ Worlds Turned Upside Down

The official behind-the-scenes companion guide to the first two seasons of Stranger Things and beyond, featuring exclusive color photos and stunning concept art.

Note: This book has been designed to mimic a used book. The marks, scuffs, and tears on the cover and pages are an intentional design element.

Stranger things have happened. . . .

When the first season of Stranger Things debuted on Netflix in the summer of 2016, the show struck a nerve with millions of viewers worldwide and received broad critical acclaim. The series has gone on to win six Emmy Awards, but its success was driven more than anything by word of mouth, resonating across generations. Viewers feel personal connections to the characters. Now fans can immerse themselves in the world—or worlds—of Hawkins, Indiana, like never before. Inside you’ll find

• original commentary and a foreword from creators Matt and Ross Duffer
• exclusive interviews with the stars of the show, including Millie Bobby Brown, Finn Wolfhard, and David Harbour
• the show’s earliest drafts, pitches to Netflix, and casting calls
• insights into the Duffers’ creative process from the entire crew—from costume and set designers to composers and visual-effects specialists
• deep dives into the cultural artifacts and references that inspired the look and feel of the show
• a map of everyday Hawkins—with clues charting the network of the Upside Down
• the Morse code disk Eleven uses, so you can decipher secret messages embedded throughout the text
• a look into the future of the series—including a sneak preview of season three!

Adding whole new layers to enrich the viewing experience, this keepsake is essential reading for anyone and everyone who loves Stranger Things.

This book is fanfreakingtastic! Happy Reading!

Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾

Well here's some pics!

The front cover vet is sooo cool as Stranger Things do. The cover looks old and even has a used book sticker! I love it!



They even have an upside down section!



The rest of the pictures are just some random coolness, a map and a drawing on the inside cover page. They have plastic around it a library book too.



















Highly recommend peeps 😊🖤🐶🐺🐾  

Archenemies by Marissa Meyer

The Renegades Trilogy continues, in this fiercely awaited second installment after the New York Times-bestselling Renegades by Marissa Meyer, author of the Lunar Chronicles.

Time is running out.
Together, they can save the world.
But they each other's worst nightmare.

In Renegades, Nova and Adrian (aka Insomnia and Sketch) fought the battle of their lives against the Anarchist known as the Detonator. It was a short-lived victory.

The Anarchists still have a secret weapon, one that Nova believes will protect her. The Renegades also have a strategy for overpowering the Anarchists, but both Nova and Adrian understand that it could mean the end of Gatlon City - and the world - as they know it.

 I can't keep up on my damn preorders!!

I didn't like it as much as the first book but it was still up there.

Cover is good. Narrators were good listening at 2x speed. I think when the next one comes out, I need to read them back to back and see how it goes 🤔😉

Happy Reading!

Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾 

The Ghost Of Marlow House by Bobbi Holmes

When Danielle Boatman inherits Marlow House, she dreams of turning it into a seaside bed and breakfast. Since she’s never visited the property, Danielle’s not sure what awaits her in Oregon. She certainly doesn’t expect to find one of the house’s previous owners still in residence. After all, the man has been dead for almost ninety years—shouldn’t he have moved on by now?

Charming Walt Marlow convinces Danielle the only way he can move on is if she solves the mystery of his death. Danielle soon discovers her real problems may come from the living—those who have their sights on Marlow House’s other secrets.

This was a fun little cozy mystery! 
  

Danielle inherits a house and decides to turn it into a bed and breakfast. She brings a friend to help her set it up. Danielle had a company with her husband but when he died, things came up and she sold the business. Now it's off to another adventure. 

Danielle can also see ghost and her house has Walt Marlow living inside. He's been around since the 1920's and doesn't realize he's dead until Danielle tells him. So with the help of Danielle and some friends they figure how he actually died! 

I enjoyed this one and look forward to more in this big series. 

Happy Reading! 

Mel ♥    

To Kill A Mocking Bird ~ Graphic Novel

A beautifully crafted graphic novel adaptation of Harper Lee’s beloved, Pulitzer-prize winning American classic.

"Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ‘em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird."

A haunting portrait of race and class, innocence and injustice, hypocrisy and heroism, tradition and transformation in the Deep South of the 1930s, Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird remains as important today as it was upon its initial publication in 1960, during the turbulent years of the Civil Rights movement.

Now, this most beloved and acclaimed novel is reborn for a new age as a gorgeous graphic novel. Scout, Gem, Boo Radley, Atticus Finch, and the small town of Maycomb, Alabama, are all captured in vivid and moving illustrations by artist Fred Fordham.

Enduring in vision, Harper Lee’s timeless novel illuminate the complexities of human nature and the depths of the human heart with humor, unwavering honesty, and a tender, nostalgic beauty. Lifetime admirers and new readers alike will be touched by this special visual edition that joins the ranks of the graphic novel adaptations of A Wrinkle in Time and The Alchemist.

This graphic novel really does justice to the original book! This is one of my favorite books and I love the movie! Anyone who is a fan of this book will love this graphic novel. I have went a little overboard on the pictures I added so bear with me 😊





























Happy Reading!

Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾