Melissa "Dog/Wolf Lover" Martin's Reading & Ramblings: The Memory of Light by Francisco X. Stork

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

The Memory of Light by Francisco X. Stork

Vicky Cruz shouldn’t be alive.

That’s what she thinks, anyway—and why she tried to kill herself. But then she arrives at Lakeview Hospital, where she meets Mona, the live wire; Gabriel, the saint; E.M., always angry; and Dr. Desai, a quiet force. With stories and honesty, kindness and hard work, they push her to reconsider her life before Lakeview, and offer her an acceptance she’s never had.

Yet Vicky’s newfound peace is as fragile as the roses that grow around the hospital. And when a crisis forces the group to split up—sending her back to the life that drove her to suicide—Vicky must find her own courage and strength. She may not have any. She doesn’t know.

Inspired in part by the author’s own experience with depression, The Memory of Light is the rare young adult novel that focuses not on the events leading up to a suicide attempt, but the recovery from one—about living when life doesn’t seem worth it, and how we go on anyway. @goodreads

MY REVIEW:

5 STARS

Once again here is a book that I can relate to. I have clinical depression with suicidal thoughts, among a few other disorders. Vicky, the main character in the book, has depression and tried to kill herself. This lands her in Lakeview Hospital, supposedly just an overnight stay as her dad and stepmom want her to come home and get back to normal.. I hate that word.. normal. As if we can put our mental problems away and move right into normal... What is normal?

Do you know how hard it is to go through every day trying to pretend like your not as bad as you are so that your family won't see too much.. so your doctor's will think your not too bad.. the world can see you as not so bad... it's easier to be this way when your behind a computer, no one can see you, can see how bad you truly are, even in real life people can't see how bad you truly are, you keep it hidden. Vicky kept her feelings hidden really good, even her sweet Nana (housekeeper) that took care of her for years didn't see it. Her father and stepmom wouldn't see anything if it slapped them in the face. Even Vicky's sister didn't see anything. We do that.. we don't want to be seen, we are not.

Vicky meets a really nice doctor at the hospital, Dr. Desai, and she thinks Vicky should stay with them for a few weeks meeting some other kids that have issues like she does. She doesn't think she needs to go back home so soon and tells her it's her decision to stay and she will help with her dad and stepmother.

Vicky does meet some wonderful friends in the hospital, they all tried to kill themselves or close to it. There is funny Mona who is Vicky's roommate, Gabriel, who is really sweet and tries to keep it all together for everyone else and E.M. who has anger issues, but is a good guy. They are all good kids. I loved these characters.

The call ends. I lie there for I don't know how long, my hand on the telephone, as if I'm afraid to let go of the voice that flowed through it. It is possible, I realize, to have people in your life who love you and who you love, and to still want to kill yourself. It's almost as if part of the reason you're doing it is for them, because you are not worthy of their love, and you want to stop being a burden to them, contaminating their lives with your moodiness and grumpiness and miserableness. I feel Juanita's love now. I even feel Galileo's love. And it makes me feel so much worse.

Vicky and her friends seem to find themselves in the book but then a few go downhill and there are some sad things that go down. Vicky finds her strength because of these friends and her doctor and helps so many people and finds herself. She is not cured, but she is managing.

I think the author did a wonderful job with this book and I cried when I read his "author's note" at the end of the book. I always read the author's note, especially in these kinds of books because there is usually a story there. The author also lists suicide numbers and information at the end. These things are very important.